Yes I Can with God
I almost quit making this album a few times. I know.... I know... this is something I am so passionate about and love to do and yet fear, insecurity, discouragement, distractions, and more can sure kill, steal, and destroy our dreams if we let them. This experience has turned into so much more than I ever imagined and it scared me. I had questions coming at me like a flood and I overwhelmed myself. My mind was a battlefield and I couldn't seem to rise above the chatter. We were still in the songwriting stage of the album and I remember going into Darin's studio feeling pretty defeated one night. If I remember correctly there was just a lot in life coming at me in that moment not just the mind chatter of the album. Darin picked up on my woe as me attitude and was inspired to write a song and I am forever grateful. This song has truly become my anthem. I fell in love with 'Yes I Can' instantly and it wasn't a tough decision to name the album after it. For my entire life I would seem to have these moments of victory and then get sucked back into defeat. With music, with weight loss, with my relationship with God, with almost everything it seemed. Why? What holds me back? I think the answer is me. I get in my own way. I have allowed what others say about me define me and set me back. I have let judgment, criticism, and fear of man rule for way too long. I have allowed my own insecurities and failures consume my mind. I have believed lies that have become strongholds that only can be torn down with the washing of the word of God. Yes, I understand that as Christians we need to be careful of the "believe in yourself" motto. Yes, I understand we can go a bit too far with the "Anything is possible" scripture as well. And yes, I think we can get too caught up in questioning God's will and purpose for our lives and get too wrapped up in following our own dreams. I also think religion too can become quite the thief as well... Absolutely I questioned if this song had too much of a "worldly" view however I believe in great music that inspires and motivates for a better life and even if you don't believe in the God I believe in and view this song differently it's ok. Let's sing it together anyway! I want you to come with me and shout "Yes I Can!" For me personally, this song is a kick in the rear to the "I Can't" mentality something I have clung to for way too long. This song is a kick in the rear to giving up! This song, for me, is standing strong on truth! This song, for me, is telling satan himself that he isn't going to win the battle for my mind or my soul. This song, for me, is following the call on my life no matter what it takes. I believe this song has a special meaning for each and every person. Maybe it's the stay at home parent trying to raise your babies and reminding yourself "Yes I Can!" Maybe it's you battling cancer telling yourself that "Yes I Can!" fight this. Maybe your marriage is falling apart and you keep telling yourself "Yes I Can!" get through this or you desire to be married and you are doubting it will ever happen. Whatever it is I see this song bringing breakthrough for so many!
So I don't get to the beach much but when I do I absolutely love to watch the sunrise and I got to do just that last week and I had the sweetest encounter with the Lord. I wrote 'Yes I Can' in the sand and I took a video of the tide coming in over it. I thought it would be cute to post on my Instastories but God had even bigger plans to speak to me through it. The tide immediately came in and swept away Yes I Can and I felt the Lord show me that on my own when I try to make things happen and do life without Him I easily get knocked down. I become weary, exhausted, confused, and miserable. When I wrote the words 'With God' in the sand he showed me that when I rest in Him and let Him lead me He pushes back the darkness and I stand strong. I stood for a while trying to take a video of the tide coming in over the words With God however the water would come rushing rushing rushing but then would stop and in that moment God was showing me what He can do if I get out of the way. In that moment He released faith in me to believe again for circumstances to change. In that moment I once again was reminded how big my God is and how with Him anything is possible.
(Go to my instagram gallery to see the beach images)