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New heart of flesh

It's New Years Eve and I just woke up from falling asleep on the couch trying to watch a movie and it's only 10 pm. I stepped in a puddle of dog pee just a bit ago and I thought to myself I want to remember tonight. So as I sit up at our island with one sock on and one sock off (because pee) I feel peace. This is something I long for on a regular basis. Yesterday morning I could barely push myself out of bed I felt such heavy oppression. It was everything I could do to smile and not be a jerk to everyone around me. Last evening I had a three hour session at my church's prayer room where I would be playing piano and singing. I honestly tried to think of a few ways to get out of it because I had nothing whatsoever to give.

Let me tell you what God does with your nothing...

Let me tell you what God does with your surrender..


I had the most beautiful encounter with Him.

I really

like really really

love Jesus

but not with my whole heart


Last night I sang my love song of surrender to my King. The one who does not forsake me in my weaknesses infact I think being at our weakest most vulnerable place is when He gets to do His finest work. When we are finally at a place where we have nothing, can no longer try to do anything, we have absolutely no strength, He just floods in with His strength for us, with new passion and zeal, with joy, with peace, with His healing balm.

I felt my chest get really hot and I heard Him whisper I am healing your heart.

I felt heaviness leave.

Today I felt a peace and it was so beautiful.

I am not on my couch tonight begging God for change but rather thanking Him for it instead. I am not writing out my list of New Years resolutions striving for change because I have a peace that it will be different.

I will be different.

I will start living from my whole heart.

Let me rephrase that.

I will start living from my new heart of flesh.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26 NIV

He makes all things NEW!