This Is Us.
I looked up at this sign in our kitchen and I smiled and even chuckled. Today was good day so far. I am awaken to the fact that for so long I have tried to make our marriage into the image I would like it to be instead of embracing what it is flaws and all.
Does that make sense?
I have not allowed my husband to just be him. I have wished for him to be my idea of the perfect spouse. I have hated those quirks that just make him him. I have tried to change him for years without any success.
Does that make any sense?
So let me paint the picture of today for you.
He asked me to skip church to go pick up something at his brother's that he needed for a job (he is part owner of an HVAC business) and told me we could stop for breakfast and appliance shop. (he knows breakfast is my favorite and we have been without a working oven for several months now) I really do not like skipping church however I don't like to be overly religious about it either so I asked if we could stop at Starbucks too.
HE SAID YES!
For most of our marriage he would never let me stop for coffee so this is a win! I am really not sure if it is his impatience (because he is always on a mission) or annoyance that I spend what I spend on fancy lattes.
We were silent for most of the trip but unlike the last trip we took together around Christmastime this silence was not deafening.
Does that make sense?
Yes, I am asking that question a lot I know just please stick with me here. I think if you are married or in a serious committed relationship you understand those moments of silence when it is so loud you can't breathe. It's like you don't even want to be in the same space as one another. This time wasn't like that. We were each just thinking whatever we were thinking separately and just didn't have a lot to say. So we get to Lowes on our hunt for appliances and he as usual walks in front of me despite the fact that it is icy and I could fall however it didn't bother me today. I didn't allow my brain to go through the "why can't I have a husband that opens the door for me and walk beside me holding my hand or putting his hand upon my back?" I didn't mind it at all because this is just us. I walk slow, I like to look at all the things, and he is very get to point A and point B quickly with no stops in between. He is not about wasting time and time for me well, I don't think I want to waste it I just like to experience the moment and I am not in a hurry for really anything. I am certain this drives him nuts about me. Plus can we discuss the fact that my legs are like really short? I mean I just don't walk fast and in order to keep up with him I have to run and I don't run unless I am being chased. Glad I got that off of my chest just now. So speaking of me trying to keep up you should see my man at Walmart. Oh wait I should first tell you about the guy at Cracker Barrell who trusted us to watch his baby.
I am pretty certain all babies can sense our fear. No, we do not have kids. Yes, it's by choice that discussion is for another day however we don't have a lot of experience with kids so it's extremely awkward. This couple who sat near us with three kids was riding the struggle bus. Toddler kid had to potty so mom takes him and leaves dad with baby and other toddler kid. So other toddler kid has a complete melt down that mommy left and he goes running after her and dad is like what the crap do I do in this moment...… so what does he do you might ask? He chooses to run after melt down toddler kid and as he is running after him he asks us to watch his baby. I give him the 'ol thumbs up as I'm shoving cheesy hashbrown casserole in my mouth.
Can we talk about how freaking amazing Cracker Barrell hashbrown casserole is?
Thank you for letting me remember that moment of deliciousness falling upon my tastebuds. Let's forget the fact that it is 7 weight watchers points and I only have 30 to use in a day. Let's not even talk about the luscious sawmill gravy I lathered on my biscuit.
Ok OK moving on. So we are watching the baby. I felt connected to this couple in this moment as I was watching their baby. Kudos to them to be brave enough to bring them out into the wild. Kudos to dad for trusting us and I don't think their baby even sensed our fear from across the table. Major win for us! I kinda wish we would have exchanged numbers so we could babysit again.